EPISODE #1: YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HAPPINESS ABOUND
Audio Transcript:
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you're listening to happiness abound
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episode 1
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[Music]
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welcome to happiness abound a podcast
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dedicated and designed to help those
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seeking happiness in their lives here
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we'll talk about happiness as gained
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through habit formation being inspired
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by the stories of others and looking for
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opportunities of growth and learning I'm
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Taylor Proctor thanks for tuning in
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[Music]
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hey guys
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thanks for tuning into happiness abound
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the podcast I'm Taylor Proctor as you
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heard in the intro and I am here to
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share my thoughts and ideas hopefully
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some insights and definitely my story
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about my happiness journey I write a
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weekly blog post on happiness about calm
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and there I share some ideas and tips
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and stories about my happiness journey
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and I hope that this podcast will become
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an extension of that where you can tune
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in daily and together we can work
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towards happiness and having better
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lives so if you're here you might
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already have known all that but just
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want to reiterate for any of those
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newcomers listening and tuning in so
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what can you expect from this podcast
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well first off I'm going to be coming to
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you daily as I said a little earlier and
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I'm really excited to sit down and talk
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with you guys talk talk about what's
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going on in my life and the insights and
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things that I have if you want to call
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them insights maybe they're just little
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little ideas that might be helpful might
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not but we'll see just the thoughts and
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insights that I have about happiness and
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a lot of that comes from self-awareness
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about how things are coming across my
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mind also reading a lot of books
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listening to other podcasts etc but one
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thing that I've noticed is I haven't
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been able to really find a podcast
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that's a daily insight that is just much
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more personable and much more authentic
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and real let's let's just be honest here
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I'm gonna try to come to you guys every
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single day and talk for 15 minutes
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straight and tell you guys my thoughts
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and my feelings on happiness and what
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I'm really struggling with and I guess
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we could start right away so I've really
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been struggling with sitting down and
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reporting recording this podcast I think
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there's a lot of vulnerability involved
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and as much as I say oh we shouldn't
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compare ourselves to others several blog
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posts on that by the way but as we
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shouldn't compare ourselves to others we
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should do what we feel is right and
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believe me this feels right but it feels
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like there's
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everything coming up against me to sit
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down and record this for example I've
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had I use the system Adobe Audition to
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record and I've had it on our computer
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for a year now and today I sat down and
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said Kay I'm gonna record the podcast
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we're doing this I'm getting going and
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it took three hours to get it going
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because Adobe Audition and the Creative
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Cloud suite decided that they didn't
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want to allow my logins to work so I had
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to troubleshoot it for three hours
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before I could come to you now so that
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was a lot of fun and very discouraging
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to be honest it made me feel like maybe
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I'm not doing this I'm one of those
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people that it's a big believer in when
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it's the right time for something you'll
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be able to do it and it will happen but
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I'm also a believer that if you are
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truly meant to do something and it's
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going to help others that sometimes you
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meet a lot of opposition so my
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opposition today was three hours to be
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able to get the program to start and
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frankly I was kind of glad that it
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wouldn't start because like I said I was
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very hesitant to come talk to you guys
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takes a lot actually to sit down and say
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I am struggling or this is what I found
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and I just want to put this out there
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I'm not an expert the whole point of
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this is not to say oh I know what I'm
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talking about and you should all listen
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to what I say no this is a podcast to
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really sit down and say it I'm
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struggling or I have I'm having
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happiness in my life and this is what
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I'm doing and hopefully it works for you
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- this is not a end-all be-all this is
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not I hope not a preach to you this is a
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hey we're in this together
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this is what I'm finding out this is
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what I'm figuring out and it's working
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for me it might work for you and let's
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have a small little asterisk there that
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this is not the one and only way to be
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happy right these things that I'm
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finding are constantly changing are
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constantly growing a perfect example is
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several years ago I was able to lose a
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lot of weight and all that weight has
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creeped back
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and when I try to go back and do what I
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did last time it just doesn't seem to
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work I've grown and I've turned into a
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different person I think differently I
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feel differently I eat differently all
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of these things I have different habits
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all these things come into play and have
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shifted who I am and how I can get
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things done in a different way so this
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is not the end-all be-all of this is
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gonna work for you these tips and these
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ideas but it's the hey what does it hurt
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to try it right you could learn you
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could grow that's all I'm trying to do
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is learn and grow from these these tips
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and tricks and I don't even think
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they're tricks but these these ideas of
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how we can all be better together and if
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they work for you I would love to hear
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about it and if they don't but you found
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something else I'd love to hear about
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that as well so that's kind of where I'm
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at where I'm coming from
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trying to overcome the obstacles to sit
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down and talk to you via the podcast
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world hopefully straight from your
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iPhone or your Google Play or what have
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you but here we are so I just want to
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also say I've kind of explained a little
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bit about what you can expect from this
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podcast on a daily level but I also want
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to use it as an audio blog in a sense
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where every Thursday the one post that I
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post as actual copy and content to my
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blog on happiness about calm
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I will also read it aloud on Thursdays
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so if you don't have time to sit down
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and read or you're a habitual scanner
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like I tend to be where I see a an
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article and I just skip through it and
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try to pull out the Nuggets and I think
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that's the internet age we've all come
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to this is an option to have it as an
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audio blog and hopefully it will
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resonate with you a little bit better I
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know when I listen to books on tapes and
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things like that also resonates better
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with me so that's kind of what you can
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expect from this daily podcast but I've
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also kind of given you a little bit of
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who I am obviously struggling sitting
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down on being vulnerable in front of the
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mic but I wanted to explain a little bit
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more about Who I am and how I came to be
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here and how I decided I wanted
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on happiness so I think it all starts
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back probably five or six years ago
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maybe a little bit further but I was a
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very very very very angry person I was
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not just an angry person I was an angry
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victim that's totally how I I saw myself
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this the world was out to get me and my
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dad has this great saying which he
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didn't say to me at the time he tells me
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now that I'm on a better path but he
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said if the whole world out to get you
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there's only one person to blame and the
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whole I felt like the whole room was out
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to get me
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it was very angry very very manipulative
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too right if you feel like the whole
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world's out to get you you've got to go
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out to get the world and so it just
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wasn't a good a good space and I think a
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lot of that happened because I had been
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recently divorced and my first husband
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and I although we were not married for a
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very long period of time there was a lot
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of a lot of neglect on both of our sides
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I just don't think that either one of us
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were really ready for marriage but I'm
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especially divorced so feeling like a
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failure and didn't have any money and I
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was poor and struggling and trying to
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decide between gas and food and do I
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cast in the car to go to my job or do I
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eat to survive and really things were
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just out of control and the more I tried
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to get them in control the worse they
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kind of became and the more angry a
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person I was and this lasted for a
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really really long time and I was driven
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I eventually started my own business and
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I was a wedding planner which I loved
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doing but it only created an even worse
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atmosphere for myself in the fact that
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it's a very cutthroat industry at least
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in the city that I was in and there was
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a lot of backstabbing a lot of stealing
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of ideas and a lot of really people out
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to get you there it wasn't a sense of
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community it was a sense of competition
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and so I really had a lot of Drive but I
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was
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driven in the wrong ways I then felt
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definitely like people were out to get
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me and it just just wasn't very good and
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I just became more and more angry and
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bitter and rude and unforgiving and just
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not really the kind of person you want
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to people want to be for yourself but
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you definitely don't want to hang around
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somebody like that and I just didn't
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trust people all the way around it was
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not good and I couldn't see it that's
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the other part let's let's tangent for a
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second self-awareness is everything you
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want to be happy in your life you've got
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to be self-aware and I'm not saying
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self-aware as in self-critical but
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self-aware as in okay I'm having these
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thoughts I feel like everybody's out to
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get me why and not why me why is
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everybody out to get me that's that's
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not what I'm talking about but I'm
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talking about okay why do I feel this
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way why can't I seem to overcome this
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feeling of anger right I just I was
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unforgiving bitter rude untrusting and I
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really was relying 100% on well I work
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really hard and I'm really driven and
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that's just gonna make the world you
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know that's just gonna make my world
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much better and everyone else is going
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to have to bend to me and my will
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because I'm the victim and poor pity
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little victim party for Taylor over here
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so was not a good person was not aware
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that I wasn't a good person which makes
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it worse I think and it didn't really
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have anywhere to go no direction and
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thank goodness I actually was I was in I
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am in same relationship but I was in a
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good relationship at the time and this
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was somebody who had known me for a very
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long time even previous to my first
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marriage and we'd actually dated back in
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high school and we were dating again and
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he kind of see this scene this
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transformation especially from from the
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wedding planning and the business owner
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standpoint and he'd seen this
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transformation in me and I wish I could
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say it was it was just he said this once
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and it totally clicked tonight totally
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changed my life but he didn't it was
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probably 30 40 50 times Oh
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the span of three years where he would
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mention casually thank goodness he'd
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mentioned casually
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hey where did where did my tailor go
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where did happy-go-lucky hyperactive fun
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and funny like laughing where did she go
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and again he wouldn't say it quite like
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that I'd be like wow you're really angry
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you never used to be like this or who
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like that's that's a temper I haven't
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seen before where where is this coming
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from
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I I don't ever remember you being like
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this before all the way down to hey
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where did you go because this isn't this
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isn't really working out anymore because
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you're kind of a jerk he didn't say that
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but he did in a roundabout way and so
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after like I said several years and
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several dropped hints he finally came
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out and said hey where did you go
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you're angry you're you're an angry
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person you're mean where did the tailor
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I used to know go and it finally sunk in
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and hit me this is also after giving up
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the wedding planning business in
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changing cities and being closer to
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family and a couple of other things but
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at that point I was ready to hear it and
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even now I still struggle with anger but
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nowhere to the extent that I used to and
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I don't believe in the victim mentality
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anymore and I really tried to be self
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aware and aware of my feelings and
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thoughts and and why I may be having
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those but it's been a long journey to
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even get there and to even feel
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comfortable talking to you about that
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journey and again this was this took
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several years and this happened several
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years back and it's an ongoing struggle
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I think it is for everybody but it also
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is a struggle once you've been in those
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habits for so long to really step out of
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them and see who you are and be happier
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so when I finally pulled my head out and
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wanted to be a better happier
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person and that's what I focused on it's
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like I just want to be happier I'm not
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happy and you're happy you smile more
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you laugh more you're friendly people
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want to be a bear around you you're
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considerate you're polite the works
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everything that I wasn't and so I
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started looking around for how how can i
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how can I do better it all happened when
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I just stumbled upon this book I was
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looking for happiness and I found a book
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called The Happiness Project by Gretchen
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Rubin so I started to read it and in it
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I highly recommend it by the way but in
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it she talks about each month she would
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focus on daily habits and routines that
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she thought would help her be happier
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and I went I can do that
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so sat down listed out a couple things
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that I wanted to accomplish and do that
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I thought would help me be happier and I
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started to do them and things started to
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turn around but it's been a really
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really long process it's been five plus
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years and I'm not saying it's just
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started turn around like it started
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turning around right away I think as
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soon as you're aware that you want to
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make a change and you start down a path
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even if you don't know that that's the
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right path at least you're taking a step
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in the right direction you're moving
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towards it you're making some progress
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and you're gonna be learning and growing
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no matter what you do that was the the
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turning point and that's also the that's
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also my journey of how I've gotten to
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here and there's a lot of sub stories
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leading up in the past five years that's
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not just the end-all be-all and that was
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my main focus for forever but that's how
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I got to be here and that's how I have
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been working to find happiness abound
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and I say that because maybe there's
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somebody out there maybe you're out
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there and you're angry you're upset and
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the first step to figuring things out
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and being happy in your life is
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listening to a podcast like this that's
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awesome I would love to hear your story
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in your journey and here if this podcast
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helps you but even if you don't want to
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say it I think listening to something
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like this or reading something like the
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happiness about blog or following people
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that are authors of amazing books like
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Gretchen Rubin Tony Robbins anybody like
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that I think if you start listening
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them it says path on the right direction
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and you can find a little bit more of
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that self-awareness and you can move
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towards happiness so that's it for this
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first podcast I just wanted to share a
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little bit of who I am what I'm about
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what this podcast is about and really
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kind of introduce you to the idea that
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you're making progress and you are
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capable of happiness about so if you
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like this episode I would love to hear
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from you subscribe via iTunes and leave
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a review I know it's a little early
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episode 1 to be asking saying hey leave
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a review but your thoughts and your
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feedback are really what's going to help
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this podcast become better and well
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suited to you on your happiness journey
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also be sure to check us out on Facebook
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and Instagram you can find the links to
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our profiles on happiness abound
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[Music]