Audio Transcript:

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you're listening to happiness abound

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episode - welcome to happiness abound a

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podcast dedicated and designed to help

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those seeking happiness in their lives

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here we'll talk about happiness as

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gained through habit formation being

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inspired by the stories of others and

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looking for opportunities of growth and

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learning I'm Taylor Proctor thanks for

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tuning in

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[Music]

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hey guys thanks for tuning into

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happiness abound the podcast episode 2

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thanks so much for tuning in I really

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appreciate it and I'm really excited to

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share with you the idea of something

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that's actually been ruminating in my

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mind for the last couple months actually

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and that's the idea of flow so

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everybody's heard about flow and that

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it's when you find flow it's supposed to

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bring you happiness blah blah blah

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I've actually had a really hard time

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with that and here's why so I have a

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full-time job I also have a couple of

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freelance gigs that I do I'm married I

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have two dogs and I'm involved in a lot

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of things one of which being volleyball

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so I played doubles grass volleyball

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with one of my oldest and best friends

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in the Utah outdoor volleyball

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association or uova for short and we've

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been playing for about two years and we

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play a tournament maybe once a month in

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the summer it just depends on our

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schedules she's a mother of two and I'm

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busy with things as well so when we can

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get together and play we do so for two

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years we have been playing volleyball

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and in our little beginner division and

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this last weekend was the last

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tournament we were gonna be able to

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participate in for this year and we

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actually took first in our division

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which means that we move up and it's

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pretty awesome we're really excited to

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be set out and said hey we want to take

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first today and we did so it was

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fantastic but prior to even last weekend

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I've really been thinking about how I

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feel when I play volleyball and I know

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this is totally weird and random but

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I've realized that you know I said that

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I have a job and freelance and and I'm

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married and all of these things and

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friends and family and etc etc the

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pressures of real life that I think we

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all have but when I play volleyball I

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don't think about that stuff

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it is literally six hours of hanging out

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with one of my best friends playing some

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good volleyball and focusing on doing

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the best that I can that I can whether

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that's getting a good hit make sure to

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dig some you know dig a ball up or just

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whatever it is but I'm not focusing on

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anything else but volleyball and I think

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that is becoming so rare maybe not maybe

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it's just

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rare for me but I tend to multitask and

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think about a lot of different things at

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the same time and so it's awesome to set

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aside six hours to do something that I

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really enjoy that we're pretty good at

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together right she's an amazing partner

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we're really well fitted for playing

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volleyball with each other and it helps

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that we've been best friends for over 20

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years but it's awesome just to get to

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spend time with my friend and to sit

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down well I guess not sit down get up

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and play some volleyball for such an

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extended period of time

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and to not think or worry about anything

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else and I'm realizing that that's a

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state of flow and I feel truly honored

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and blessed that I'm able to have that

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state of flow on a pretty regular basis

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at least during the summer and the

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reason I bring all this up is because I

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feel like there's not this I mean I'm

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almost 30 and it's only in the last year

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that I've realized playing volleyball is

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one of those things that really gets me

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in a state of flow where I can just

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focused solely on something else it's a

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huge stress relief too and I always feel

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great afterward and it's just awesome

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it's good all the way around and it's

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something that's amazing for me to do

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personally so I wanted to share that

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with you because I feel like we're in a

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space a lot of us anyways I know I was

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and and what I don't have volleyball of

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wondering how I can get into that state

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and really focus on something else

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without worrying about in my case what

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the dogs are doing or meal plans or

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clients at work or clients in the

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freelance side and the latest blog post

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that needs to come up on happiness

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abound and how my friend is doing when

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she's planning her wedding and and all

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of these individual pieces all going on

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at the same time and so it's really nice

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to set aside that time to go and play

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volleyball and I don't think a lot of us

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have that so what I wanted to do is talk

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about how we can create flow time

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because I think not only do we have all

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these different things going around in

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our heads and we're trying to focus on

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all of them at once and remember the

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grocery list and make sure to do the

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laundry and all these other pieces but

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we also are inundated with very full

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schedules so how can you set aside time

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to experience flow and it's kind of a

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piece of that

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self-love element where how do you set

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aside time to experience flow where it

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may be something just for you and not

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involve your family so here's what I've

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done is I've set aside time and the way

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I've been able to do that is I just

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schedule out ahead of time and in this

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case with volleyball it's only once a

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month right and sometimes we play on

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Sundays just together for fun and we

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play against our husbands and that's

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like an hour on Sundays but for the most

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part it's one six hour tournament one

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Saturday a month and that's the time

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that I've set aside and that my friend

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has set aside for us to go and play

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volleyball and I think it's a good

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outlet for her too but I won't speak on

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her behalf but it's something that we

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planned for we look forward to our

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families know that it has become a

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priority and they totally respect and

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her husband even comes and watches with

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her two girls and my husband takes says

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yeah take the card do whatever you need

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to do and we really get a chance to find

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our flow States and so how do you create

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that time you've got to set aside

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something even if it's just an hour a

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month something and some time where you

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can focus on you and I think that you'll

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find you're able to find time and do a

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lot more

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after you've set aside that one hour per

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month and one hour per month is really

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not that much I'm pretty sure that I

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spend an hour per month if not more on

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Facebook so and Facebook can't be your

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state of flow just for what it's worth

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the has to be some of you doing

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something for you not focusing on other

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people so that's what I'd recommend for

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setting aside time but I also want to

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talk about how yeah it's a form of

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stress release relief and self-love so

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it's not selfish to set aside that time

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even if it is just an hour or maybe it's

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six hours a month or maybe you have

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something that you do every Tuesday I

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don't know but whatever that thing for

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you is make sure you set aside some time

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because it does make you a happier

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person to be around a lot less stress in

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your life and something to look forward

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to on a regular basis that you've

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thoroughly enjoy

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so I think two I should mention that you

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can have these flow activities with

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other people obviously I have one with

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my best friend and we go when we play

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volleyball but I also have flow

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activities that I do just for me and

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some cases that's writing I actually

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really enjoy writing for the happiness

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about.com

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blog post or blog posts and I really

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really get into that and it's something

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I look forward to every week but you can

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also have these activities with these

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other people so if you love to go hiking

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and you just can't find the time with

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your with your schedule and you want

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spend time with the family take the

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family hiking and it may become a state

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of flow for them as well but if you have

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a group flow always make sure that you

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have something set aside for you as an

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individual flow whether it's writing in

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your journal whether you'd like to

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crochet or cross stitch I mean I don't

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know make jam whatever it is something

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that you enjoy doing set aside some time

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to do that and really enter that state

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of flow and I think the next question

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becomes okay great I can set aside an

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hour I can set aside a few hours a month

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that's no big deal but how do I find my

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volleyball or how do I find my hiking or

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how do I find my riding my cross-stitch

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my making jam whatever it is and I would

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like to say that sometimes it just takes

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some time to figure that out

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right if you've always wanted to take a

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kickboxing class

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maybe it's kickboxing but you have to go

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and you have to set aside the time to

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then take the class and determine if

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that is something you want to do so it's

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gonna take a little bit of trial and

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error sometimes you don't find flow

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right away

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but the important part is not to be

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stuck up on getting it right or having

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things done perfectly the first time out

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and it can't be a matter of asking how

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now hear me out here when you ask how do

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I do something how how am I supposed to

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get from A to B how am I supposed to

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find my flow or what I want to use as my

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flow activity you tend to want to put

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all the pieces in place before you start

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now I'm not saying asking how

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is bad it's not it's good and it's human

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nature to want to know how to proceed on

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something we're very logical we like

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steps 1 2 3 right we want them in order

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we want to know how to do things but if

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you get caught up on the how you won't

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get into the activity so I would

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recommend when you're done with this

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podcast take an extra 15 minutes and

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just create a list of things that you

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like to do so I'm gonna just spit ball

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here on things that I like to do so I

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like to read and hopefully these will

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provide some some ideas maybe they'll

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resonate with a few of you maybe you'll

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be like oh heck no that is not what I

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like to do and you know what you don't

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want to try doing flow with so I like to

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read I actually really enjoy recording

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this podcast as much as I said in the

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first episode it was really tough and

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hard to be vulnerable

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I enjoy recording the podcast I really

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like writing the blog like I said I like

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to go hiking I'd like to work out

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sometimes I can't get my button gear to

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actually go into it again I really

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really enjoy playing volleyball I enjoy

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spending time with my friends and I

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really enjoy long walks on the beach

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with pina coladas no just kidding but I

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really enjoy long walks where I can

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listen to podcasts and I can get some

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physical exercise and be outside and see

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the beauty of the world around me now I

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know that that's all super simple stuff

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but that's the point is it doesn't have

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to be some grandiose thing I'm not

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saying go out and sign up for a

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kickboxing class unless that's what you

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think you want to try I mean that would

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be freaking awesome if that's what you

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find that you love to do and that's

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where you find your flow but don't ask

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ow just go in and do it and a lot of

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these places have free classes so like

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introductory classes so if you want to

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go take a pic go take kickboxing go do a

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free class if you want to try painting

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sign up for one of those paint nights

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and see if you like it and if you do you

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can invest further and keep on going

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towards that how but don't ask how to

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start go through and just make this

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quick list like I said take 15 minutes

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max after the you listen to this podcast

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hell you could even pause it if you

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wanted to and come back later but write

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down those things that you feel like you

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really enjoy that you want to be better

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at or that you totally find yourself

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rapping around when you do it and then

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start at the top of the list and see

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what you can do and that doesn't mean

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like like I said I have volleyball in

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the summer that doesn't work for me as

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it having a regular state of flow in the

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winter so I'm gonna have to figure out

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and go through this list as well as

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we're heading into fall about what I

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want to do to find a regular state of

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flow where I can totally focus on what

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I'm doing and be in the present and have

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that positive present mindset and not

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worry about the million other things on

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my calendar or that the drama that could

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be happening in the world around me so

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one other thing to keep in mind that

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I've managed mentioned volleyball and

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writing and kickboxing classes and all

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these things but there's I think a good

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delineation between physical flow and

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mental flow so you have your list

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hopefully or you've pushed pause and

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you've created it or when you create

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your list when you're done listening

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this podcast what I want you to do is

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take that full list and then split it do

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you see a large amount of them or more

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physical related or are they more mental

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related and try to even that list out so

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try to think a little bit harder about

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if for instance if you have a lot of

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physical related things like in my case

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walking hiking working out playing

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volleyball versus I like to write and

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record podcasts right so there's four to

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three or two so I need to think of some

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more mental stimulating things maybe

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reading books and taking notes and

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journaling and all of those type

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meditation could even be it but make a

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list and split it into two of those

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mental flow and those physical flow and

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then try alternating them because I have

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found that there's a vast difference

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between the two the volleyball physical

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flow is really in vigor

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and like I said I always feel fantastic

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afterward sores all get-out but

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fantastic afterward and really proud of

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myself but when I am writing and

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recording podcasts and journaling I find

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myself mentally getting into a state

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where I can focus on being more aware

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and more of that presence of mind and I

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find myself being much more open to the

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universe and compassionate to those

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around me after I do those activities so

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split your list into physical and mental

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flow activities and then just go down

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the list and see what resonates with you

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and set aside that that hour a month or

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those few hours a month or it could be

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five minutes a day right if you want to

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try meditation or journaling five

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minutes a day and again don't get caught

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in the house I'm gonna use the example

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of journaling so you're like okay yeah I

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can I can journal in the morning that's

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not a problem no big deal how what am I

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gonna write about how am I gonna set

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aside that time etc etc etc start

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writing three things that you're

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grateful for and I know that's really

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overused in the happiness

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self-development self-help space show

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gratitude but it really makes a

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difference and as you write those three

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things maybe that's what it starts as

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but you'll find that your day gets

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better and you're in a mental state of

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flow thinking and focusing solely on

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what you're grateful for so don't get

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caught in the how don't get caught in

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the wind and what it is get caught up in

15:32

the state of flow and seeing how it

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makes you feel so I'm gonna leave it at

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that but I hope this podcast has

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resonated with you and I would love to

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hear what you do to find the state of

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flow or what was on your list and what

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you're looking forward to trying or if

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you put some stuff on your list and you

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win you did it and you're like oh I

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hated that well now you know you don't

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like whatever that activity was and you

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can move on to the next thing on the

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list and you can keep on growing and

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trying the list and seeing how you can

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find your state of flow so share your

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list with me on Facebook or Instagram

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you can find those links

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those profiles at happiness abound calm

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and be sure to leave a review if you

16:14

liked this episode and keep on

16:16

subscribing to happiness about the

16:18

podcast so I will leave you at that and

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remember you are capable of happiness

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[Music]