I recently realized that I have become my own best friend. Maybe it happened somewhere along my path to self-love or when I traded in Netflix for more me time, but it wasn’t until last weekend that I fully understood it.

I was a little nervous, slightly scared, trembling with excitement, and almost giddy as I got ready for the day. But I embraced my emotions by rocking out to The Scorpions “Rock You Like a Hurricane,” and saying aloud to myself that I didn’t think I’d been this excited or nervous in a very long time. My first thought after talking to myself was that I should call someone and talk through how I felt… but then I realized I didn’t know who to call. I have amazing friends, several who have been by my side since Elementary even, but in this moment, I realized that no one could truly understand my emotional state or me at this precise moment. No one but myself. It was then that I realized that I had become my own best friend.  

It’s no secret that I’ve done a lot of soul-searching lately, have begun to listen to my body more, and have tried to live life with more intention… this is an awesome consequence of that work. And it is the best thing ever, here’s why:

I don’t have to explain why I feel how I feel

Have you ever tried to explain to a friend why you are agitated (or any other emotion) and it seems incredibly difficult to put into words? When you are your own best friend, you just get it, without explanation. Therefore opening the door to explore more of the emotion instead of trying to talk it out.

I think I’m hilarious

There’s nothing quite like laughing at a joke with your best friend. Unless that friend is yourself and you not only laugh at your own jokes but then you get to laugh at yourself for laughing!

I only give advice when I want it

Sometimes you just want to vent and sometimes you have a friend who tries to fix the problem (I’m that friend in my group). They mean well but sometimes you aren’t ready for advice, you just want to be heard. The great thing about being your own best friend? You only get advice when you are ready to move past the venting and get to the actual resolution.  

I speak my own language

In the same vein as getting advice when you are ready, when you are your own best friend you already speak the same language. This means the advice comes in a form that is easy to understand and act upon.

I show myself the right amount of compassion

Sometimes you need to get kicked in the butt to get it together and other times, you need a loving presence to recharge. When you are your own best friend (and you practice self-love), you know when to get going and when to take the time you need- all without external pressure.

I always look out for my best interests

It is human nature to look out for and protect yourself. When you are your own best friend, there’s a new level of love and protection you didn’t have before. This love and friendship looks out for your best interests by encouraging you to eat healthy, to complete that project, and to not guilt-trip you if you eat a cookie or procrastinate- just like a best friend!

I know my backstory

My best friends have been in my life for approximately 22, 17, 14, 12, and 11 years. They each know my life stories, those defining moments. But they don’t know the stories better than I do or how they’ve influenced my current motivation. Sometimes it helps to know the full backstory to truly understand yourself and you, as your own best friend, have that inside scoop.

I’ve always been there for myself

In the way that no one can truly understand your backstory, no one has been there for you like you have. Granted, parents and family may have always been there and been supportive but there are things you’ve done or gone through on your own… and only you as your own best friend can truly say you’ve been there for every step.

I can be myself 100% without fear

It is so nice to be yourself without worrying about how someone else will perceive you. When you are your own best friend, you can rock out to music while singing off-key at the top of your lungs and laugh at yourself for doing it without fear. It is awesome to feel that comfortable and be able to truly be yourself.

I understand that not every person has a best friend within themselves right now. It takes a lot of hard work, love, and time to reach this point (Hell, I only realized it a few days ago!) but it is possible and it’s pretty amazing to feel so loved, so free, so comfortable, and so at peace with yourself. I urge you to give it a try and never forget that you are capable of happiness abound.
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Photo by: Christian Joudrey